Steps to becoming a good wife.

Please see the updated 2010 version of these instructions.

I want to apologize up front for not having before photos. Every good wife knows that she should not be seen in public before taking these easy to follow steps. I also want to apologize for the condition of the photos. They were taken by my children.

Step number one:
About an hour before your wonderful hard working husband arrives home, step into your closet and close the door. While there say three times, “I want to be a good wife”. When you have practiced this for several months, you may be able to wait until half an hour before the wonderful husband arrives home. Once you have said the sentence three times, you can emerge from the closet a new radiant housewife.
As you can see I have my hair done, makeup on and wearing pearls. Yes, ladies, pearls are worn while doing house work. I have gotten this step down to 10 minutes.

Step number two:

Once you are dressed for housework, put on your apron. We don’t want to soil the pretty dress, do we? I always wear my highest heals while vacuuming. It seems my carpets are so much cleaner
when I wear them. Notice the lovely smile on my face. I am thinking of how happy my wonderful hard working husband will be, when he steps on this clean carpet.

Step number three:

When your wonderful hard working husband walks into the home, be ready to give him a warm welcome. Notice I have taken my cleaning apron off. I do not want to offend my wonderful hard working husband by wearing a dirty cleaning apron.


Step number four:

Lead him to his favorite spot to relax. Remember he has worked very hard today. Take off his shoes, prop him up with some pillows, and hand him his favorite beverage. I am giving my wonderful hard working husband his favorite beer in a tall glass. I took the time to open the bottle myself and pour it into a tall glass, just the he way he likes it. Please notice, ladies, I am still smiling because I love my wonderful hard working husband and I want to show him I appreciate all that he does for me. I also want to point out that I have changed my apron. This apron is one to be worn while serving others. It is not to be confused with a cleaning apron. It is made out of a fine guaze material. This apron looks lovely on any dress, while protecting it from spills. We always want to look our best for our wonderful hard working husbands.

This is all the photos I have. I hope you have enjoyed a peek into my normal every day evening.

If you can, please leave a comment. πŸ™‚

16 responses to “Steps to becoming a good wife.

  1. You’re hilarious! Last time I looked at this post I didn’t have the images turned on. Now they are on and I am laughing really hard. What a good, good wife you are! Your husband is so blessed! And I mean that, truly. πŸ™‚

    Love, Wardeh

  2. LOL Yes, I agree, my husband is blessed to have me. LOL This was in response to the 1949 (?) home magazine article, which was a hoax. Anyhoo, I mentioned on a homeschool forum, that I do those things, and a friend called my bluff. So… I had to defend myself. My husband had a great time with this also. I wish I had better pictures. I have a picture of a “June in Training” to post soon. πŸ˜€ Glad you liked it.

  3. I will be married in June. I have been a single mother of one for 14yrs. I want to be a good wife. I am anxious and have anxiety about being a good wife…a good listener, appreciative, a good lover, cooking, etc… Can you refer me to a good self help book?


  4. Tonya, I can’t recommend any books about marriage, but you can checkout Focus on the Family website and Dr. James Dobson. He has LOTS of great advice on relationships and marriage. He will also recommend some good reading. Hope that helps. πŸ™‚

  5. πŸ™‚ if I treated my husband like that he would assume I was hiding something & I’d end up across his knee (again) regardless of guilt!

  6. the funny thing is that my husband actually thought that you were for real, so he sent me this in return to the article I sent him about how to be a better husband 10 steps. So I told him 4 steps vs 10. He needs to get it going if he wants to catch up to me! Love the pics!

  7. Michelle, your Steps to becoming a good wife is one of my favorites from your old blog. πŸ™‚

  8. Oh…you have to have the cooking step on there. A nice home cooked meat and potatoes dinner should be cooking when he walks in and make the house smell all yummy.

  9. Sara, you are so right. The meal was baking in the oven, I just didn’t make a note of it. LOL

  10. I like this iam downloading this for my wife. thnx

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  13. if I treated my husband like that he would assume I was hiding something & I’d end up across his knee (again) regardless of guilt! true in my case i tried it didnt work out.

  14. I love this!!! You are right on time, I am in a moment of self doubt, and was wondering if I am doing the right things. I was told a man will take advantage of me, (and have), but now I feel better. Thank you very much.

  15. Sorry, I am LOL right now … hahahahahaha
    I think the only thing I agree with is the warm welcome.
    Instead of wasting your time dressing, or makeup, or who knows, Just go to the store and be sure you have beer. Also, be sure you have a good sexy underwear.
    Go back home and show him how hot you are (hotter than any other woman). Satisfy him (don’t forget the beer), then he’ll go to sleep and rest happily.
    After that, you are free to do whatever you want…

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