Yesterday the postman delivered a huge package to my door. It was from my sister. We don’t exchange Christmas gifts, because I am poor, so I was surprised to get a box. Of course I opened it. After all, if it was to be saved for Christmas, there would have been a DO NOT OPEN written all over it.
My sisters and I have been through a lot over the years. We use to make mud pies using real chicken eggs, until we got a rotten one. We lived in a very cold house for a while and I would sneak in their room (they shared) and cover them up. We did everything together. We even smacked each other around, when we got mad. We did normal sisterly stuff like that all the time. Both my sisters love me the best, because I am the best sister.
The first thing I found in the box was four candy canes filled with M&Ms. I thought they were for me, but since I have four children I quickly discovered they were not for me. So, to be mean to my kids, I hid them until Christmas morning. bwahahaha.
The next think was a tin can filled with homemade sugary goodness. The kind that sends you into a sugar coma for days. Sugared Pecans. I won’t ask for the recipe, because I’ll make them and eat them and land in the hospital. These are gone now.
One year my youngest sister was in love with Johnny Cash. She talked about him all the time. Because I knew how important friends were and I loved my sister, I gave her Johnny Cash’s phone number. She called him, or tried to. I am a good sister.
Next on the list, was a pair of dog ornaments. They are really cute! They are buds and I know if one wanted the phone number of a famous dog, the other would provide it. Sisterly love, can’t beat that!
This is how I know she really loves me. The biggest thing in the box was for the whole family, but I took it as my own. It is the cutest snowman! It lights up and spins around and sings some stupid Christmas song about snow, because Christmas is all about snow in Florida. She had this gift for me for about two years and just now thought of sending it to me. Isn’t she great!
And the last thing, because she loves me the best was…
Peppermint Pig Poop!
Look CC! The package is in pink and red. The pig is red and the poop is pink. I just wanted you to know that.
My kids saw the pig poop and demanded to have a piece. I say things like “NO! You can’t have my poop”, “I might share my poop later”, and “That’s my poop and it tastes like peppermint”.
My family thinks I need help. I don’t need help, I am normal.
Thanks sister! I love you too! Let me know if you need the phone number of Orlando Bloom and I’ll get it to you. 🙂