One bright, hot, sunny day in Africa, Elaine was enjoying a leisurely ride atop her elephant. She saw a lovely native woman, wearing a flowered loincloth, and a coconut bra, off to the side of the road, so Elaine decides to say hello. “Hi, my name is Elaine and I am a master at riding elephants.” To which the lovely native woman replies, “Hi, my name is Sumi, and it is a good thing you are a master at riding elephants because here comes a pack of lions to get you.”
Elaine was shocked. She had so enjoyed the day, that she did not realize she was being stalked by wild lions. Leaving the lovely native woman behind, she takes off. The elephant is running and running, but the lions just keep getting closer and closer.
Then all of a sudden, another elephant rider comes rushing up. He turns his elephant around and says, “BE GONE!!” to the lions. All lions turn and run, they were so afraid of this terrible human.
When the lions were gone the man stepped down off of his elephant and helped Elaine get down. He introduced himself, “Hi, my name is Mr. Elaine.” It was love at first site. Elaine swoons and begs the man to marry her and take her far far away from this hot place.
They get married, live happily ever after in the cold cold wilds of Alaska.
Years later Elaine becomes a homeschooler and meets the lovely native woman on some forum on the internet and apologizes for leaving her behind. The lovely native woman tells her “no worries, the lions were my friends and I wanted you off my property.”