Tag Archives: children

Entertaining Kids

At least two times a week I yell at my kids, “God, did not put me on this earth to entertain you!”.

I was thinking about this last night and decided that my kids were put here to entertain ME.  Since my kids have gotten older, aka teenagers, the act of me  breathing in front of their friends, causes my kids to scrunch down and hide from shear embarrassment.

Embarrassment, people,  is where the entertainment comes from.

Ways I entertain myself, kids must be present:

♥When I am in my car and I see my son’s friend walking home, I ask if he needs a ride.  This could be a mile down the road,  at the end of the street at the bus stop, or standing in his driveway.   Sometimes he takes the offer.  Most of the time he says, “No thanks. I’m good.” because he is standing by yard.    Response from my son:  “Why?”

♥The neighbor across the street will call every so often and ask if I will pick up his children from the bus stop.  Sure I say and drag my girls with me.  Picture this with me people.    We’re standing on the corner and the bus stops several yards down from the corner.  Out pops the kid.  I raise my hands and start yelling their name.  “FRIEND! FRIEND!”   At that time I start to jump up and down, “I HAVE MISSED YOU!”.   Then the friend starts running away, because I am running to her.  I grab her and give her lots of big hugs.  Embarrassing the friend and my kids.  Double score on the entertainment chart!

♥Wave at everyone on the street, including the people in other cars.  Why this embarrasses my kids, I have no idea.  The people can’t even see them.

♥Sing in whale.  This works very well in public with lots of people around.  Really works well in a parking garage.  You get great sound in there and the kids almost run for their lives before the first note comes out.  So cool.

♥Take off sandles and fling them down the isles of the grocery store.

♥Talk like you’re from the hills when there are lots of people around.  This works very well when the dad is involved.  I get MOM! from all kids.

♥The biggest embarrassment I can do to my kids is give them big noisy kisses.  I do this in the privacy of our home and they are embarrassed. lol

Have you embarrassed your kids today?


I knitted hats!   Yeah, I know.   I am in awe of myself too.

 Deb at Not Inadequate found the cutest hat pattern to knit for adults and kiddos.  It’s called Grammy’s Hat by Tanis Lavallée.  This hat pattern looked to be pretty simple with just k2,p2 and k6,p2.  I can do that!

I really wanted to make one of the hats featuring four different colors using the designer’s Green Label Yarns, but I couldn’t justify the cost for yarn to top a child’s head. So… I bugged Deb with a bunch of questions on what I should use.  After months  days of asking, Deb finally said, “Shut-up and pick what you want to use.”  Ok, she didn’t say shut-up, but I’m pretty sure she wanted to.

I picked JoJoland Rhythm Superwash in Cosmic Burst.  Great colors and the striping is wonderful.  This is the first hat for Pea #1.

And here is the second hat made for Pea #2.

I bought five skeins in the same dye lot, but look how different the hats look.  That’s due to the nice color changes.

I wanted to put a pom-pom on top, but each Pea said NooooOOOOOoooo.


I plan on knitting two more hats for my nieces for Christams and I won’t be asking if they want pom-poms!  They’re going to get pom-poms even if they don’t like AND they’ll look cute while wearing them.

Do you like pom-poms on your hats?

Updated to add:  I CO 88 stitches to make these hats to fit a 10 and a 12 year old.  For an adult I would CO 104 stitches and for toddlers (The Cousins) I’ll CO 64 or 72. 

Fourth Grade English

I don’t like teaching English.  After reading my posts and seeing numerous mistakes, you know why I don’t like teaching English.  I have said before English is my second language.  Hillbilly is my first.  Just saying…

My youngest daughter (Pea #2) also hates English.  It could be she hates me teaching English.  It could be she has better things to do than school.  When she doesn’t want to do school, she doesn’t do school with flair!  So for the norm in our English class, she is either hiding behind her notebook or under the table.  Best thing for me to do is just wait it out.

However; last Tuesday was the exception (praying it will be the norm).  After two weeks of no school due to Spring Break, I gave an oral quiz to my little class of four students.  I never expected Pea #2 to raise her hand, but she did on every single question.  She about popped out of her seat to answer.  I fainted.  Several times.  After I picked my self up off the floor, she answered each question correctly.  I fainted again.   Got back up and asked her to diagram this sentence:

Two red squirrels were gathering many nuts.

AND SHE DID!  CORRECTLY!  I fainted.  This time they were done with English and just left me on the floor.

Yesterday, I was giving her praises.  “Rebekah, You ROCKED in English class yesterday. You answered all the questions correctly!  I’m so proud of you.”

Rebekah said, “MoOoomm.  Mad-Libs.”    She didn’t say it, but I could hear the DUH!! behind those words.  I did see the eyes rolling into the back of her head.  Moms no nothing.

MAD-LIBS.   We love Mad-Libs and take them everywhere.  I don’t know what I like the most, the fact that the kids are learning something or the sound of children’s uncontrollable laughter.  One child will ask for a verb, noun, adj., number, etc.  The other children call out whatever comes to their mind.  After all blanks are filled in, the story is read aloud.

This is the one that sent them over the edge on Wednesday.  The words underlined are the words they picked.

How to Get a Job After School

If you are over 3,000 years old, you can get a bumpy job working for one of the worms in the neighborhood.  Here are some tips on getting an ofter-school job.

  1. Try not to smell like grits or a tree frog.
  2. Have good posture.  Pretend a string is tied to the top of your butt and keep your duck straight.
  3. Be polite.  Whenever an employer asks you anything, always say, “Chicken Burrito!”
  4. Don’t wear blue jeans that are more than 12,000,000 years old, and don’t wear anything that has pea stains on it.
  5. Work hard.  Remember, the captains of industry, like Carrie Underwood and Vanessa Hudgens, all started at the bottom and became rich by farting night and day.

Most kids have learned using numbers with 4+ digits and any bodily functions, make for a better story.

You can get MAD-LIBS just about anywhere.  They are great for long trips and for learning the parts of speech.

God’s Critters

Yesterday, Pea #1 came running in the house yelling, “A Turtle, A Turtle!”  I was expecting a huge turtle, which we see often around here.  This one was a cute little thing.


She named it Bob.

Peninsula Cooter

Kingdom:  Animalia,  Phylum:   Chordata,  Class:  Reptilia,  Order:   Testudines, Family:  Emydidae,  Genus: Pseudemys, Species:  P. floridana

Most Common turtle in Florida.  🙂    Now that the girls are older, every living creature they find is called Bob.  I don’t know why.  When The Violinist was younger, she had a stuffed turtle.  It was called Turtle for a while.  Then she started to shorten names and Turtle became Turd.   Yes, I said Turd on the internet.  This name came up again last night.  Bob became Turd.  So, while at dinner yesterday the conversations went like this:

“What did you do with Turd?”  “Turd is gone now.”  “Did you fling Turd over the fence?”  “No, Turd was let go through the fence and he crawled away.”  “The dogs will not eat Turd now.”     Yes, the word Turd was said at the dinner table.  I have a weird family.  They don’t get this from me.

Now for something completely different.

I am going to show my students how to kill an insect tomorrow.

This fellow is going to die tomorrow, while you read this post.

You’re welcome.

Lubber Grasshopper

Kingdom: Aminalia,  Phylum:  Arthropoda,   Class:  Insecta,  Order:  Orthoptera, Family:  Romaleidae  Gensus:  romalea,  Species:  R. guttata

Hair and the Youngest Pea

The Youngest Pea never liked taking care of her hair.  What she hated the most, was me taking care of her hair.  Her hair is her security blanket.  She hides behind it in hopes that no one will notice her and tell her to brush her hair or add 5+0.

Once in a while she would let me put it up, but that was only once in a great while.  More like just once…

We fought and fought and fought over this hair.

She started hiding behind her hair all the time.  In her face all.the.time.   I would pin her between my knees to get her to hold still so I could brush it.  On several occasions, I was trying to put her hair up in a pony-tail.  Picture this; I have all of her hair up in my left hand getting ready to put the hair-band on.  She picks up both of her legs and lands on the floor.  Hair falls out of my hands and you don’t want to know what happened after that.  She did that several more times, over several more weeks.  I had had enough.  I told her I wasn’t’ going to let go next time.

She didn’t believe me.   She does now.   She tried it two more times, because she forgot what I said.  She remembers now.

The hair about did us in.  It was always and I am always in her face.  Her hair looks just ok in this next picture.  Normally is it all in her face.  We are talking Cousin Itt hair!

I had had enough..again. She went to sleep one night and woke up like this.

This was taken several weeks after her hair was cut while she slept.  Yes, I cut her hair while she slept.   I couldn’t’ sleep for the rest of the night, so I sat downstairs and waited.  I waited for the scream.  It didn’t come.  She came downstairs crawled into my lap and wouldn’t budge for an hour.  She learned her lesson.

Sometimes she will forget and all I have to say is, “I cut your hair once and I’ll do it again.”   Poor sweetie.  It is so hard being hard-headed.  She takes after her Dad.  I know it isn’t me.

So fast forward a couple of years and I still can’t get her to put her hair up, but at least she moves her hair out of her face, slightly.  I purchased new hair-bands recently, in hopes she’ll start putting her hair up. God forbid, if I did it for her!

On the way to the zoo last week, this is what she looked like.

It’s a mess.  A total mess.  It is out of her face and I am not going to say a word.

Day at the library.

Yesterday, Sir Husband was home working on the house.  When Dad is home, school work goes no-where.  So…off to the library we go.  I have my head in the clouds because I KNOW the girls will not be distracted and lots of information will be pumped into their lovely brains. Oh Happy Day!

The best thing about going to the library during school hours, is that all the school children are, well,  in school.  So, it is almost quiet.

We head to the back of the library, while the Violinist heads to the office to sign in for volunteering.  Both The Peas open their backpacks and begin working.

I gently remind the littlest pea to actually start working.  She is reluctant at first, but then writes her sentence.  And then stops.  I remind her again, to do the next sentence. I remind her again and again and again.  She finally does the next sentence.  Then I tell her to go on to the next sentence.

At that point, her entire world collapsed into a giant rubble in a gazillion mile radius.   She flew to the floor.  After some stern comments from me, she packs up her books and hides behind the nearest chair.

What is a mother to do with a child like that in a public library? Take her home for Dad to deal with? Take her to the bathroom for Mr. Stick to deal with?  No. The mother gets out the camera, of course!

Does The Pea become madder than a wet hen?  You bet!  Does her mother care? No way.  Time for more photos!   The wet hen tries to run off to another hiding place.  (Like there are lots of places to hide in this little library.)

After more picture taking and steam coming out of the girl’s ears, eyes, and nose, I put the camera down and ignore her.  She finally comes over to quietly start her work or so I thought.

She stands beside me.  With an angry look in her eyes, she kicks her backpack and says, “You can sell these books back to the teachers. I won’t be needing them anymore.”

I had to leave to keep from busting out laughing, so I hunted down The Violinist.  I took the camera just to take pictures of her volunteering. I find her uh…shelving books.  Yeah, that’s what she was doing.

Those were ER, Easy Readers, she was shelving.  I have talked to her about reading the books while volunteering.  I guess a good ER book is something she can’t pass up.  I shouldn’t complain.  The librarians say she shelves faster than they do and she is more accurate than most of the high school volunteers.

This is what happens when she gets caught by her mom with a camera.

This was our third, full day of homeschooling.  My head fell out of the clouds, but I am thankful it didn’t explode.

Will we have more days with tantrums?  Yes.  Will I be as calm as I was today?  With God’s help, I will.  If I do explode,  I hope there isn’t someone around with a camera to witness it.

I wonder where the nearest chair is that I can hide behind?

Taking pictures isn’t easy.

Monday, I made the girls  go outside so that I could take photos of them.  I wanted head shots for student I.D.s.

After much whining, they reluctantly stepped outside and this is what I got.

Me:  No, don’t stand in front of the neighbor’s house.

Them:  Why?  What difference does it make?

Me:  I don’t want the neighbor’s house behind your head.

Them:  SO???    ( I remember saying “SO” to just about everything at their age. I now understand why I got the angry look from my parents so often.)

J:  Wait I have to fix my hair!

MOM! I’m not ready!

This is stupid.  Can we just go inside?

Hey Mom!  I have a great idea for a student I.D. photo.

Me:  Um…no, I don’t think so.

After several more photos, I finally get three head shots that are worthy for an I.D.     That means, they are not perfect, but who cares.

Since I had them together outside, I thought this would be a great time to take photos of the three of them together.   They were all goofy, but I really like this photo.  It shows The Violinist beginning the “I’m a teenager and my younger sisters are irritating me” season.

Whole Foods Cooking Class for Kids!

A few weeks ago, the kids had another cooking class at Whole Foods.   This has been so much fun for my kids.  The last time they were in the cooking class, I got to take pictures, while my friend, Mrs. W. went on a shopping spree.  Yes, my friend and neighbor, up and left us.  This time I was going to make her stay while I went shopping.  Not really, I just wanted her to freak out a little.  I really wanted to stay for pictures. 🙂

To our surprise The Lady in Charge, would not let us adults in.  Unbelievable!  I am sure it has something to do with Mrs. W’s behavior last time.  I  just know it wasn’t my fault.  I mean really, how can it be my fault?

You can see here The Lady in Charge, is telling Mrs. W. to go away.

I begged The Lady in Charge to let me in to take pictures.  I’m special, so I got to go in.  Here is Miss A., Mrs. W’s daughter.   She is showing me how they pressed the Crispy Cashew Rice Treats down into the pan.

Crispy Cashew Rice Treats

She wasn’t the only one making this treat.  She had two helpers.

The Friends

Apparently they must share all the instructions on making this treat.  That includes delivering the final product to The Lady in Charge, so she can cut it up for them later.

Or maybe it was just too heavy for one child to carry?  This is my Pea #2, Miss O. (another neighbor friend), and Miss A.

Three friends helping each other.

Here is my Pea #1 and her friend, another Miss. A.  aka sister of Miss O.

Miss J. and Miss A.

To go with the  crispy treat, they made Pizza Wheels.  They were pretty good!

Pizza Wheels

Now all of you are probably wondering where Mrs. W. is.   She is right here banging on the window, begging to come in.  I’m special and she is not, so she can’t come in.  **raspberries**

Mrs. W. at her finest!

Yeah, I know.  Hard to believe we are neighbors and friends.  Go figure.

Here is The Lady in Charge.  I can’t remember her name. I’m sure Mrs. W. can tell me.  This lady is so much fun and so nice.

Update.  This woman’s name is Myra Jean.  Got the info from Mrs. W.  🙂

The Lady in Charge

Just so you know.  The bottom in the picture below belongs to Miss A.  She belongs to Mrs. W.  The same Mrs. W. who was banging on the doors in the photo above.  Yeah, I know.  It’s a wonder Whole Foods lets them in their store.

Cute bum, though. 🙂

The End

Summer Reading Fun

The libraries in our county have a summer reading program every summer.  We usually participate in about half of it, but this year we participated in everything.

It all started with a trip to the Bartram Trail Library to get their goodie bag.  In the goodie bags were several charts to fill out to get free books at Barnes and Noble and Borders.  There was also free coupons for Taco Bell.

Next it was time to get busy reading.

Every Tuesday, the girls took a break from their reading and went back to the library for a weekly movie.  Snack was provided and The Violinist volunteered while the girls sat for the movie.  This was great for a hot summer day.

After many weeks of reading, the  girls filled out their reading list and we headed out to Barnes and Noble for the free book.

You would think they would each get a different book so they can pass it around, but no they got the same book.

When it was all over and done with, the library had an ice cream social.  Now that is something that just can not be missed.

What else did they get besides ice cream?  Why more free books, of course!

Fun, Fun, Fun!!

Playing with the camera